It's About the Journey
I look out my living room window and see Tim’s car in front of my house. I put on my ice cleats and grab my coat, winter hat, mittens, and mask as I walk out the door.
Tim is already on the concrete walkway, smiling. We greet each other from a good six-foot distance and decide the direction of our walk. I follow him, mask on as we walk to the sidewalk. Tim stretches his arms out like an airplane and moves them up and down, as he skips ahead down the walkway. A smile comes over me.
Tim is an 80-year-old retired family medicine doctor who has spent his life helping people heal and become whole. He was one of the first doctors in Minnesota to integrate Western and Eastern medicine. He’s passionately studied complementary healing modalities and the spirituality of life and death for the past fifty years. He lives to help people, while embodying positive, upbeat energy, and a desire to learn and grow. Every opportunity he has, he meets new people and learns about their life stories.
We jump into conversation about life, what’s new, and spiritual gleanings since our last walk a month ago.
“How are you? How is it going living in this pandemic?” I ask.
“Oh, I’m good. I’m particularly enjoying Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream with chocolate sauce on top.” He laughs.
“I’m walking the lakes three to four times a week with a number of friends, and I am part of five different groups that meet mostly on Zoom,” he shares.
Over thirty years ago, Tim formed a local holistic medical group to connect with others, learn more, and make referrals. He still spends about four hours a day overseeing this group, which started out as ten medical professionals and now consists of 900 people from every healthcare discipline.
More recently, he formed a collegial group of like-minded people who gather to discuss cutting-edge alternative healing. He named it, “the Out of the Box Group.”
“Are you having any unrest or fear? I ask him.
“No, I have no fear.” Tim replies, very matter of fact.
Over the past couple years when we’ve dived into discussing life, death, and the afterlife, Tim has repeatedly told me he has no fear. He holds an alluring fascination with and acceptance of death and the afterlife.
“I know life goes on after death, so I don’t have any fear. In fact, I’ve never had any fear of death my whole life,” he says. “When my wife was dying of cancer many years ago, it was almost a source of contention between us because she wanted me to have unrest, and I just didn’t. Of course, I was sad of her dying. But I’ve had this deep knowing, that when we die, we go on, and I know I will see her again.”
“In my twenties while in the Peace Corps, I was flying over Indonesia, and all of a sudden we hit severe turbulence. Everyone was screaming and crying, but I was completely calm. A knowing that we are energy and that there is an energetic force beyond was with me. This knowing continues with me to today.”
As we walk by a skating rink in the nearby park, Tim shouts out, “Oh, look over there! That’s a picture that we should be seeing on the news—people enjoying the winter and having fun.” His eyes are smiling as he watches the skaters.
“How old do you want to be?” I ask him. “Do you want to live to be 100?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” He gives a full belly laugh. “I guess I should start thinking about this.”
He then shares with me one of his favorite stories.
“I am a drop of water that lands in the ocean. I live there with the other billion drops of water. I then evaporate and come back. We never lose the essence of the drop of water. We keep coming back.”
He adds, “I pray all the time now that I’m older. I give thanks for my life, I ask for guidance, and I give thanks for what I have been able to do in my life.”
We arrive back at my house. His eyes are smiling above the mask covering the rest of his face.
“You are a delight. Thank you. Let’s get together again soon,” I say. We give each other air hugs and say goodbye.
When most people are living in stress, anxiety, and fear during these challenging days, being with someone who holds deep presence, joy, and fearlessness is like breathing rarified air. Tim’s sense of aliveness in the moment gives life to those around him. You can feel his passion for living. I always have a felt sense of ease, spaciousness, and wonder when I’m with him.
It’s often said that life isn’t about the destination—it’s about the journey. Because Tim isn’t afraid of his ultimate destination, he’s not afraid to engage fully in his journey.