Going with the Flow
I walk into Dr. Chris Foley’s office, and the air in the room is calm, as usual. Chris is a holistic healer and chiropractor whom I’ve seen for over twenty years. Today, my lower back is tight from many outdoor summer sports, and I need an adjustment.
I take in the calm, fluid energy when I am lying on his massage table. Chris is always chipper, with a good laugh, and he often subtly encourages me, in his few words and gestures, to go with the flow.
Out of curiosity, I ask him again today, “How have you learned to be so calm and easygoing?”
“Well,” he says, “growing up with a family that ran a mortuary, I learned not to be afraid of death. We are all going to die, so why worry about it? There is nothing you can do about it, so why is worrying going to help?”
He goes on to share how at a typical family gathering, or holiday during his childhood, someone’s phone would ring, and then someone in the family business would have to go and pick up a dead body.
“I saw so much stress and anxiety in my family growing up, and I decided I didn’t want to live that way,” he adds.
“Do you ever fear illness or what might happen?” I ask.
“No, not usually,” he says. “We can only be here now, so why let my mind worry about all these things that could happen? I can’t control the future.”
I marvel at his response. Chris is a rarity. I’ve only met a few people in my life who embody and exude this deep-felt sense of ease and flow.
“Do you practice feeling calmness and presence? Do you have a morning ritual or prayer?” I ask him.
“I try to swim every morning, and that is my time,” he says. “I’ve also practiced feeling presence for a long time. I also notice and practice feeling gratitude.”
Diving even deeper, I inquire about his faith.
“I believe we are stardust and that we do go on,” he shares. “I tell my kids, don’t take anything too seriously because in five years, it will not be important. Let it go.”
Ease and a feeling of deep peace come with me as I walk to my car. “Take note,” I hear my inner guidance say. I stop and listen. A knowing comes through me that says I too can embody more ease. (Maybe Chris really is a living buddha in disguise!).
I’ve worked hard to live in a state of more ease and yet, being human, I have moments of unease and stress. If I’ve had a long day with complex client visits or if my husband has a momentary health scare, I can see my mind and body react.
Stress and anxiety are prevalent as we all continue to live with a pandemic that hasn’t ended, a war in the Ukraine, and the personal unrest that breaks through in our daily lives. Stress happens when we can’t mentally make sense of what is happening in our lives in the moment and when we are not accepting what is.
The practice of stepping back and witnessing our thoughts and feelings will untangle us from the grasp of stress and give us relief. Then we have the opportunity to move back into just this moment, feel whatever emotions are present, and accept them without judgement.
The more we practice these steps, the easier they get. And as they become second nature to us, we will experience more ease and flow. We may still experience stress and anxiety, but, like Chris, we can choose not to live in them.